Today I come to you with extremely important news. According to an article published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States, the greatest country in the History of America – it has been scientifically proven that exposure to infants lowers testosterone – the male business hormone – in American males. The longer one is exposed to infants, the greater the drop in the level of testosterone. Even just picking up a so-called baby can causes one’s level of testosterone to drop precipitously. The authors of the study theorize that the hormone drop makes men less aggressive and therefore more attentive to children’s needs.
So there you have it. Not only are children unemployed parasites who live off of parental handouts, drinking up all the breast milk for free and leaving none for thirsty obese businessmen – but they are literally turning men into weak homosexual nancy-boys, robbing us of our masculine drives in order to manipulate us into attending to their needs, instead of the needs of American business.
If anyone doubts this, all you need to do is look at what happened to poor Michael Jackson. Jackson was a true American hero. Born into a working class African-American family, Jackson recognized the his class and race put him at a disadvantage. He therefore exercised his personal responsibility and chose to overcome these disadvantages by becoming wealthy and white – a wise choice indeed,
But Jackson’s wisdom did not extend to who he chose to keep in his social circle and Jackson soon fell under the influence of various gangs of deadbeat children. Jackson’s testosterone was so drained from spending time with so many of these children that by the end of his life, he sounded like a female Mickey Mouse.
Jackson was accused of molesting several of these children throughout his life and he died in disgrace – but now, in light of these recent scientific discoveries new evidence, it id clear that it was not Jackson who molested these children, but the other way around!
It is time to stop the tyranny of political correctness, and call a spade a spade. Childhood is a disease, spread via intercourse with the female vagina. This disease is characterized by dependency, unemployment and small brain size. Children should be treated as criminals until such time as they choose to stop their perverted ways and become adults.
This new scientific discovery explains one of the greatest contradictions and hypocrisies of the liberal media – why is the liberal media so pro homosexual, except when it comes to catholic priests? If the media loves homosexualism so much, then shouldn’t they be celebrating priests having sex with nubile young altar boys and orphans?
By directing our outrage towards Catholic priests, our attention is deflected from the question of what is actually causing all of these priests to become homosexuals in the first place: exposure to these children! The liberal media constructs this myth of childhood innocence when in reality these children are using their evil hormonal manipulations to seduce these hapless priests in order bend them to their wills. From now on when we use the term “child molesters” what we really should be referring to are these child-molesterers – these sick children who use their position of power to prey on helpless priests and white pop stars.
Once again, the media’s shameless pro child, anti-molestation bias is evident for all to see! You’re not fooling us, liberal media; we’ve seen how these children dress – with their short shorts and their Honey Bew Bew
Hopefully, now that our president-alleged Barack Hussein Obama is starting to realize that the only way to protect freedom of speech in this country is to start arresting all the journalists, the liberal media will no longer be able to hide the truth about children in America with impunity. Despite the fact that unlike Michael Jackson, the president chooses to remain a pro homosexual Blackman – when it comes to the issues that matter – enhancing freedom i.e. business, dropping remote control bombs on afghan weddings, dismantling the most oppressive and tyrannical tentacles of big government such as the post office, public education, medicare and social security – when it comes to all of these issues, Mr. Obama, like his idol Ronald Reagan is one of the greatest conservative presidents of the century. Hopefully now that the science is out, he too will step up the war on children.