Rush transcript of the Dick Hatenberg Conservative Podcast
Episode 9 2013/05/31

Last time on the podcast, I predicted that a series of recent scientific discoveries which prove that children are in fact dangerous parasites would prompt the Obama administration to stop cowering before the powerful and well-funded big-little children lobby and start taking action to defend America from the threat childhoodism.

Although the president has not yet publicly stepped forward to fight back against childhood’s war on America, one of Mr. Hussein Obama’s closest friends and associates, former White House chief of staff and current Mayor of Chicago Rahm Emmanuel, has.

As part of a deficit cutting measure, Mayor Emmanuel has successfully pushed Chicago’s board of education to close 54 schools, the greatest school closure in the history of America.  Emmanuel, despite his social liberalism and clever Judaism, knows not to overplay his hand.  For the moment, these 30,000 largely Afro-American children will be added to the already overcrowded Chicago classrooms, while many of them will be forced to walk across gangland-style territory to get to their new public mind control camps.

The children and their big media apologists are raising a stink, but we must stand behind mayor Emmanuel, so that he does not back down from taking the next step – the closure of ALL of Chicago public schools, and their conversion into voluntary mandatory free-market work camps.

When it comes to education, we must allow science, and not liberal political correctness to guide our policies.  Public education is a failed experiment.  After 150 years, and trillions of tax dollars spent, the average 8 year old still only reads at a grade three level.  No amount of education or money will ever make these children into the next generation of lawyers, doctors and businessmen – I’ve never even seen a child bus driver, much less a lawyer!  It’s simply impossible – their brains are just too small!  The average child brain is only half the size of a white man’s brain!

Now I know what some of you are thinking of Doogie Howser, M.D.  a famous child doctor, who even has his own television program.  Well, I did a little research on Mr. “Doogie Howser” and this supposed child doctor is in reality a 39 year old man!  His real name isn’t even Doogie Howser!  It’s Douglas Howser, M.D.  This is just another attempt by the big-little children lobby to pull the wool over our eyes so that we unwittingly support their pro-child agenda.

But no more!  Children are our greatest resource.  And like any other resource we must exploit them ruthlessly until they are all used up!  Why should these so called children get to run around playing with their friends and learning things all day while normal adult servile-Americans have go to work?  Adults don’t get to see their friends, or use develop their intellect – they need to serve and work, for the betterment of society – i.e. businessmen.  And why should hard working businessmen have to pay taxes to keep this pint sized parasites educated, when they already pay the wages that keep them and their parents alive in the first place?

In a truly free society, it is the poor and working people who should be paying taxes to the government, which must give that money to business, which in turn allows the poor people to remain alive by employing them for profit.  That is why brave Rahm Emmanuel is closing schools to fix the deficit while spending $300m to renovate a new basketball stadium, and tourist areas of Chicago.  This is the taxpayer’s way of saying “thank you for keeping me alive, business”.

No longer will children get to escape the freedom of business servitude i.e. liberty.  If children can’t enrich businessmen by attending for profit schools, then they will simply have to enrich them by going to work.  Childhood is a choice – and it is the wrong choice – a choice of weakness, dependency, unemployment and parasitism.  We need to disincentivize childhood, not encourage it.  Children must work like adults, get fired like adults, pay rent like adults, generate profits for businessmen like adults – everything except of course get paid like adults.  Only then will children choose to become adults.

I don’t like to admit this very often, but I myself was once a childular-American.  I used to play with my toys, and excavate my boogers, and watch my Doogie Howser on television while leeching free breast milk off of my mommy without even paying for it!  But eventually I realized I was nothing more than a disgusting shameful parasite – I couldn’t even drive a car, or carry firearms or numchucks!  So I decided to exercise my personal responsibility, and I picked myself up by the bootstraps, and made a choice to become a real American, an adult American, a prosperous white obeseman-American.

We life in a free market society.  If a school cannot even turn a profit, then it should be shut down like any other business.  By abolishing public schools and using taxes from workmen-Americams to create voluntary mandatory free market work camps for children, Americas children can finally repay their debt to society i.e. business for all the tax money that we’ve unjustly been forced to spend on them for all of these years.

After more than a hundred and fifty centuries of exploitation and oppression of businessmen-Americans by children, our freedom their greedy yoke is just over the horizon.  We must stand by Mayor Emmanuel; for if he wins the war on Chicago’s children, Obama will surely be emboldened to defeat childhood nation-wide.  Only when America’s children are hard at work producing Joe Fresh undergarments in collapsing buildings will the United States be able to truly call itself the “Land of the Free”.



  1. Pingback: Episode 9: The War on Children Begins! | The Dick Hatenberg Radio 666 AM Conservative Podcast

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